Sunday, July 27, 2008
Everytime when i go for attachment, i see those patients lying on the bed. The pain in them is something that i will never be able to feel.
Today, i just suddenly had a random thought," What if one day i am diagnosis with cancer". Will i be able to face it? Will i still stay strong like those patients in the hospital? What is the feeling of going throuhg chemotherapy? I know it's definitely something that no one will want to go through. Hair will start to falls and day by day, i will be thinner and thinner. The worst is the nausea and vomitting feeling. I know all these are terrible and i know there are people undergoing all these sufferings now. I really pray to god that all these people will have great determination to hold on to their life and may god bless that they will fully recover and never got to suffer again.
What if one day i really got diagnosis with cancer? Will i want him to leave me or want him to stay by my side and walk through with me even though i know that the end result can just be death. Will i have the courage to lie that i cheat on him and want him to find a better girl? I know it's difficult to open up but is it too selfish to continue to keep him by my side and suffer with me? I can imagine how hurt he will be. But is this a better way? At least he will have a better reason o find a new girl to take care of him. And i will surely look after him even after i'm gone with the wind.
What will happen during my hospital stay? most likely will be on the bed and too weak to even get out of bed. I know this is going to cost a bomb to my family. Maybe at a point of time, this can be one of the reason to give up the last breath.
When i think of this, eyes start to get watery and thing starts to get scary. I believe that's the reason why people are afraid to face death. Because no one will know where u will go after the very last breath as a human.
It's really very depressing to know that the patient will be leaving soon. Family members and friends will crowd around tearing. If i'm the patient, i will not want to see them crying. This will even make me more diffcult to give up the last breath as i believe i will not bear to leave all of them.
because of my parents and thaddues, i will hold on till the last breath and till god bring me away..............
i love you!
Today, i just suddenly had a random thought," What if one day i am diagnosis with cancer". Will i be able to face it? Will i still stay strong like those patients in the hospital? What is the feeling of going throuhg chemotherapy? I know it's definitely something that no one will want to go through. Hair will start to falls and day by day, i will be thinner and thinner. The worst is the nausea and vomitting feeling. I know all these are terrible and i know there are people undergoing all these sufferings now. I really pray to god that all these people will have great determination to hold on to their life and may god bless that they will fully recover and never got to suffer again.
What if one day i really got diagnosis with cancer? Will i want him to leave me or want him to stay by my side and walk through with me even though i know that the end result can just be death. Will i have the courage to lie that i cheat on him and want him to find a better girl? I know it's difficult to open up but is it too selfish to continue to keep him by my side and suffer with me? I can imagine how hurt he will be. But is this a better way? At least he will have a better reason o find a new girl to take care of him. And i will surely look after him even after i'm gone with the wind.
What will happen during my hospital stay? most likely will be on the bed and too weak to even get out of bed. I know this is going to cost a bomb to my family. Maybe at a point of time, this can be one of the reason to give up the last breath.
When i think of this, eyes start to get watery and thing starts to get scary. I believe that's the reason why people are afraid to face death. Because no one will know where u will go after the very last breath as a human.
It's really very depressing to know that the patient will be leaving soon. Family members and friends will crowd around tearing. If i'm the patient, i will not want to see them crying. This will even make me more diffcult to give up the last breath as i believe i will not bear to leave all of them.
because of my parents and thaddues, i will hold on till the last breath and till god bring me away..............
i love you!
Lydia will treasure and cherish., 11:22 PM.
